


Over Compensation

by aliaslestat



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, but its funny, not canon at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliaslestat/pseuds/aliaslestat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a bust Comedian is sexually teasing Rorschach and NiteOwl is like not this shit again, so Rorschach decides to tease him back by insulting his manhood. Daniel thinks this is hilarious and Rorschach is sassy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over Compensation

**Author's Note:**

> I found this while going through old files and was thoroughly amused. Decided to share it.

It was a cold night for the three of them to be out on the streets. Nite Owl knew Rorschach would be out no matter what, and the Comedian would probably prefer to be at a bar, for Dan he would rather be back at home in his pajamas reading the latest papers on ornithology. Dan was thinking about wrapping up tonight and calling it in early so he could get home and get some rest, he was wondering how mad Rorschach would possibly be if he bailed on tonight’s mission. He shivered as sounds of a struggle and Rorschach’s ‘help me Daniel the Comedian is trying to molest me again’ growl bounced around the ally. 

Daniel sighed and looked over to his partner and his temporary partner. The Comedian had Rorschach backed up against a wall and was stroking his face in an almost tender way while Rorschach growled and squirmed furiously. Daniel just pinched the bridge of his nose in despair, why did these two always have to fight…

“Aw what’s wrong sweetie, don’t you like me?” The Comedian cooed and Rorschach looked like he wanted to melt into the wall.

“Unhand me you disgusting filth before I break your fingers.” Rorschach growled at him and Dan could see how fast his breathing was and he was slightly worried Rorschach might hyper ventilate.

“That’s not what you were saying last night, in fact it sounded a lot more like ‘oh Eddie! Please don’t stop!” The Comedian said in a ridiculously effeminate voice and Daniel looked at him in shock. Rorschach absolutely froze to the point where he didn’t even look like he was breathing.

Daniel couldn’t find words to say anything as the Comedian smirked down at his tiny frozen companion. Rorschach’s posture slowly changed as he drew himself up to his full height and Daniel could practically feel the rage radiating off of him.

“At least I’m not over compensating.” Rorschach hissed at him.

“What did you say?” The Comedian said a bit baffled and Rorschach shifted away from the wall and trailed one gloved finger down his bicep.

“Costume, gaudy, big, large guns…” Rorschach said his tone laced with venom, “All compensation for that much smaller than average manhood.” He clipped with a quick motion to the Comedians crotch, “C’mon even I would be embarrassed.”

Daniel couldn’t believe what he was hearing and the Comedians jaw just dropped.

“Now see here you little runt-” He growled and grabbed Rorschach’s shoulder.

Rorschach tsk’d and shrugged his hand off, “I don’t care, doesn’t matter to me.”

Daniel just stood there with his mouth open not being able to believe the exchange that was going on before him.

“Hey if that’s the only evidence you got to back that up, ain’t like nobody’s gonna believe you.” The Comedian said with a cocky grin.

Rorschach turned to Daniel and paced over beside him motioning to the Comedian.

“What do you think NiteOwl?” Rorschach asked.

“I-uhm-Rorschach? Are you serious?” Daniel asked hesitantly.

“Theory’s sound, the only reason to desire such a…small partner is if you...” Rorschach paused and threw a look over his shoulder and the mask had a jack-o-lantern grin.

Rorschach looked back at Dan and motioned for him to lean closer. Daniel wasn’t convinced this was a good idea but he complied none the less and leaned in. Rorschach held his hand up to shield his mouth from the Comedian and whispered under his breath to Daniel. The Comedian watched and Daniel could see his posture shift and his mouth open and close at a loss for words. Rorschach pulled away from Dan and Dan looked between him and the Comedian and then burst out in hysterical laughter making white clouds puff around his face in the cold.

“Are-are you serious?!” Dan said trying to control himself and Rorschach just nodded and gave a satisfied ‘mhm’ and Dan broke down again.

“What did you tell him?” The Comedian growled and stalked towards Rorschach with an air of menace but Rorschach didn’t even flinch.

“Oh nothing ‘sweetie’ just what you’re really hiding under that leather cup.” Rorschach said and Daniel could swear he was smirking under his mask.

“Oh fuck you Rorschach…” Comedian hissed.

Rorschach sauntered over, and dear god Daniel had never seen his partner saunter before, and he patted the side of Comedians face.

“Not tonight.” He said and walked away down the ally chuckling lowly under his breath and disappearing through the steam rising from the grates.

“I’m gonna get you for this Rorschach! You ain’t never gonna walk right after I get through with you!” the Comedian called into the darkness.

Daniel heard Rorschach’s rough laugh from somewhere on the rooftops and the Comedian glowered at Dan who was still trying to get himself under control.

“What are you laughing at Owl boy?” He growled and skulked towards the back of the ally and lit a cigar. Daniel didn’t say anything but he couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off his face. The Comedian turned to him and walked over scowling and stared Dan straight in the eye.

“Don’t listen to anything that loony bastard said, he’s full of shit I ain't over compensating for anything. Just ask anyone I’ve ever screwed.”

“Anyone except Rorschach right?” Dan snickered and the Comedian growled.

“He don’t know what he’s talking about, and he’s not getting any of this.”

Dan managed to stifle his laughter long enough to catch his breath and tried to act seriously.

“Now c’mon Owl boy let’s get this patrol done with so we can stop freezing out here.” The Comedian growled and stormed off down the ally in the direction Rorschach went. 

He disappeared into the steam and Dan heard him call to Rorschach.

“You hear that Inky!? Get your princess ass down here and help us patrol!”

Daniel sighed and followed him down the ally as Rorschach jumped down from a fire escape to land beside the Comedian who solidly punched him in the shoulder hard enough for Rorschach to stumble a few steps and falter before getting his footing again. He dropped back to walk beside Daniel and Daniel looked down at his tiny partner with a half smile but before he could speak Rorschach placed a gloved hand over his mouth.

“Don’t say anything Daniel…” He growled quiet enough that the Comedian didn’t turn around.


End file.
